I come from outer space, created in the heart of a star.

I may be a little obsessed with these epic space documentaries.



Watch Programme 1: Star Stuff in How to Videos  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Tiffany Bozic!

What is that your business

What a dick.

Few things annoy me more than this guy, yet he makes me feel better about not finishing my degree. If you're stupid to begin with it seems university only gives you the confidence and surface value credibility to fully believe your own bullshit and encourages you into thinking your flawed ideas are interesting. Most dangerously of all - it seems to give you a platform to impart your nonsense to a wider, equally moronic audience who lack the exclusive credibility you gained by smoking, drinking and fucking your way through at least 3 years of an expensive arts course about obscure crap the likes of which you'll hear bantered about at dinner parties amongst witless middle class twits (who don't believe they're middle class because they shop at tesco's and have a regional accent).

I don't disagree with the merits of tertiary education at all, however I did leave with the foul-tasting impression that it was too fucking easy, that it is simply the preserve of aimless wealthy kids looking to dodge "real-life" for another few years. I'm talking about the arts faculty specifically here.

Anyway, if a kid can't learn to spell, that kid is a fucking moron. Everyone makes spelling mistakes, I very seldom see perfect grammar in anything that hasn't been conscientiously edited. But for fucks sake try. Or is that for fuck's sake?

I liked this bit:

"Professor Wells also said it was time to dispel the idea that correct spelling was a mark of being educated."

Its also appears that the time has come to dispel the idea that the title "Professor" is a 'mark of being educated'. Cunt.

'It seems highly likely that one of the reasons Britain and other Englishspeaking* countries have problems with literacy is because of our spelling and the burden it places on children."

Britain has a problem with literacy because children here are allowed to be stupid as a result of people like this going around saying that learning something so basic as SPELLING is a "burden". And kids here ARE stupid, observe:













And finally:



Oh I don't know...you're all illiterate...?




*I reckon this should be hyphenated .

Peculiar Compliment

"Stop smiling or you'll murder someone!"

I've always suspected that murder might come from a part of me but I never guessed it was my smile.

PLAY!

What's on the telly!

I walk into a room. There's a television. On the screen a woman is crying, her face all creased and wet and the ink in her eyes dripping. She's saying something vague about life. She appears to be at a turning point and the camera is there to witness the revelation. The shot cuts but her voice continues weak and relentless. The next shot is of her again, a wider shot, a different time and place. The eye of the camera is at her back as she shuffles through a department store. She's wearing a skull cap with wires attached to a box that looks like a car battery at her waist and a gaudy waistcoat. She grabs at clothes, every item spasms with colour as she lurches amongst the racks. The wires move oddly atop her head, responding to her irregular gait. Like branches. The shot cuts again. Her voice has stopped but I hadn't noticed, I notice now as a it is replaced by a more demanding intrusive one. Assertive, this voice asserts itself. Graphs appear; a parade of science. A line representing her brain activity, like earth quakes. The shot cuts back to her face, a daughter is resting a supportive hand on one sloped shoulder. The daughter looks like her mother but younger, but only just. The daughter watches her crumpled dishwater mother weep and smiles because at least now she's realized. What an awful waste of space she has let herself become. The camera cuts back to her lost amongst the racks of clothes, the skull cap apparatus, the bewildered face.

HOT.

Hello.

nice.

McCARTHY.

"The following evening as they rode up onto the western rim they lost one of the mules. It went skittering off down the canyon wall with the contents of the panniers exploding soundlessly in the hot dry air and it fell through sunlight and through shade, turning in that lonely void until it fell from sight into a sink of cold blue space that absolved it forever of memory in the mind of any living thing that was."

oh yes. McCarthy.